THE FAGROUTINE — kuvii's blog

you can say anything, but one thing i can respect women for is prettiness. that's because being pretty is hard.

even if you were blessed with godly genes, you'll most likely still have to:

put on makeup
remove hair where it's undesirable
take care of your skin, hair, and nails
wear clothes that look good on you
etc.

if you were born male and ever tried to be actually pretty, you'd quickly find out it's even harder for us. we were never really meant to be "pretty", only "handsome".

yet i still try.

i've spent a lot of time gathering experience and testing different products and methods. i hope this turns out to be a useful resource for someone :3

shower routine

this is where the whole thing starts. smooth skin means nothing if you're stinky and dirty.

i wash my body every day, at the end of the day, right before bed. i use a loofah and a generous amount of the best-smelling body wash i can find. i mostly use warm water, but sometimes the temptation is too strong and i shower in volcanic temperatures.

buying a loofah was genuinely a game changer. my skin feels a lot fresher afterward, and it scrubs off dead skin cells.

while i'm still in the shower, i wash my face with a dedicated face wash. it removes the grease that would otherwise cause pimples and acne. when i'm done, i grab my towel and pat myself dry.

hair removal

this topic is a little less obvious. grab a razor, start shaving, and you're good? ... i wish it were that easy :p

remember the loofah scrubbing off dead skin cells? that's called exfoliation, and it matters here. i sometimes see people complain about ingrown hairs, and in my case exfoliation helps a lot. i've seen people use chemical body scrubs, but i haven't tried those yet.

for all my shaving i use a double-edge safety razor. it gives me full control over the shave, and the blades are super affordable.

i shave my face every 2-3 days. my day-two beard isn't very noticeable, but my day-three beard is, so i try not to let it get that far. for lubrication i like lather shaving cream or shaving soap, because i can apply it better with a brush than bottled foam. i'm usually done in about 10 minutes.

i don't worry too much about shaving my body, since most of the time it's covered anyway. i rarely wear pants that expose my legs, and i mostly live in oversized hoodies. still, i like being smooth, so i squeeze in at least one or two shaving sessions per week.

on sensitive areas like my thighs and knees i always shave with the grain, because otherwise i get razor burn, and boy, do i hate that. everywhere else i go against the grain.

after shaving, i scrub the shaved areas once again with a towel (except my face), put aftershave on the sensitive spots (thighs and face), and finish with a generous amount of lotion.

hair

isn't it funny to talk about hair right after hair removal? haha, i'm so funny :)

hair might be the most annoying topic for me right now, and i hope i'm not alone.

in case you don't know, i have shoulder-length, medium-blonde hair. i don't take any hormones, and my hair is thin and fragile as hell. nothing works. i try my best to take care of it, but every time i look down, there are kilograms of hair flowing down the drain.

hair products are marketed left and right for their "functionality", yet each one seems to ruin my hair more than the last. and you can't just test a shampoo for a week and move on, because they're sold in half-liter bottles. buying a new product for god knows how much and then not using it would be wasteful. it's a gamble, really.

still, i try to minimize the damage.

how often i wash depends on how long i can go without looking like an ugly piece of shit. i can usually last 2-3 days, so i wash on the third or fourth day while showering. here's how:

i bend forward so my forehead faces the floor, then soak my hair completely with lukewarm water. i wait a bit, then work a good amount of shampoo into my scalp, since that's where the oil builds up. i massage it thoroughly with my fingertips so all the dirt comes off. after rinsing, i might shampoo again if it needs it. then i squeeze most of the water out and apply conditioner from the middle to the ends. one more rinse, and the shower session is over.

when i step out, i put some hair oil on the ends and some leave-in conditioner on the middle. then i dry it, but only the roots. the rest air-dries.

keeping your hair moisturized is the most important part of all this. shampoo strips away moisture, conditioner helps restore it, and oil seals the ends. the leave-in conditioner... does something? i'm not actually sure, but it seems to help.

caring for your hair is hard not only because of the routine, but also because wading through all the bullshit online makes research super annoying. people still believe that cutting your hair makes it grow faster. it doesn't.

the one thing that grants me inner peace here is remembering all the times people have asked me whether i dye my hair. i don't.

morning routine

after i crawl out of my comfy bed and say my daily goodbyes to my blahaj, i have almost no time left, because my time management is that bad.
there are still a few things i refuse to skip. first i comb my hair (and sometimes add some dry shampoo), then i wash my face with my cleanser and apply a face cream with spf. i also brush my teeth. it's obvious but it'd be weird to leave that out of the list.

evening routine

i've already covered most of what i do in the evening (body care, face cleaning, shaving, hair care, etc.) :p

on top of that i brush my teeth, apply some face serum and face cream, and go to bed at the worst time possible. i really should make a proper sleep schedule.

conclusion or something

that's everything i do to look acceptable to myself.

it's... so hard.

is it worth it? maybe. i like presenting myself the way i do, and i think that's what matters most.

wouldn't hrt make this a lot easier? i guess! but why i don't want that is probably a topic for another day.